Our Story

I have never blogged about our journey before but kinda feel like it's time. We thought for so long we would not be able to have children, and were quite happily surprised when we found out we were expecting a lil boy, and he was and is perfect in our eyes, there was no way we were going to admit or even see that there was a flaw with him at all so for years while we were waiting for him to really "talk" to us or play with us instead of just playing by himself or tell us he was hungry or thirsty we just pushed these things aside as being that we always gave him what he wanted so maybe he had no need to tell us at all, now that we look back we know that was a mistake, we never reached out for help for him because we were convinced he was far too perfect and would speak when he wanted too, so what if he had a bad temper and frequently threw fits, I just thought he had my temper, even told myself when he injured himself or others that he was just hyper.
Then we began taking him to church when he was around 3 or so and I started noticing that he was not like other children, he would sit in the corner of the sunday school classroom or pace around the room, he wouldn't just sit and try to do the projects that the other children seemed to be enjoying, and while the other children could hold a whole conversation he barely uttered a few words some of which he did not seem to understand the meaning of, it was then that I could no longer deny that he was different and yes possibly delayed, so we started trying to get to the bottom of what might be wrong, I took him to his pediatrician and luckily we have an awesome pedi and he first sent Caleb to have his ears tested to be sure that he was not having a hearing problem that was keeping him from learning, he did confirm with us that Caleb was quite delayed. The appointment to check his hearing went well, he was not able to answer their questions or anything so they had to stick this probe in his ears to measure his hearing, but told me that his hearing was good. The next text was a blood test which came back normal, then vision test which he was unable to really do but gave us enough to know that he could see just fine, So our next step was a referral to a phsycologist who told us that based on her observations she felt like he was definitely on the autism spectrum but because she could not get him to do the intelligence test that she could only diagnose him as having pdd-nos, so back to the pedi we went with those answers and his recommendation at that point was for us to go to a university hospital to have him tested by a developemental pediatrician since this would give us a concrete answer and diagnosis, so the appointment was made with Kluge Childrens Hospital in Charlottesville VA and we had over 6 months till that appointment, during which time his violence grew worse and worse daily, he had a new baby brother and was starting to become violent towards him, biting him, kicking him, hitting him, etc and he was now in headstart and doing better than expected in it, so allot had changed. The day of the appointment, we were so in awe of the doctor, she was great and even got down in the floor to play with him, asked him allot of questions and really sit and worked with him for quite some time, of course this was her getting to know him and learn his behaviors and what his imagination was like, then came her telling us the diagnosis, and honestly we thought we were ready, we weren't ready at all, the diagnosis was Autism, not high functioning but about mid functioning and that he had the cognition of about 30 months old to 3 years old, and that he did not at that time have imaginative play of his own yet, she adviced us to put him into speech therapy as he did not understood much of the language he used, and behavioral therapy for the melt downs and violence, and occupational therapy for fine motor skills, we left the office feeling so defeated, we didn't cry but we were definitely in shock and were for several more months afterwards.
Fast forward approx 1 year and Caleb is doing some better, he has now been put on medication to help him be calmer and less anxious and it is helping him some, he is less violent towards his brother, he speaks more and can answer allot of questions accurately is he is not over stimulated, he has started sleeping in his own bedroom which was a huge step for him and he is being so good about it, I think he is braver than I am, I was a mess the first night missing him and worrying about him. We have a long way to go, he still wanders off, he still is not potty trained, he still is so sensitive and will get angry or sad quite easily so we have to learn better how to deal with that, everyday is a learning experience, like I have learned that if you tell him NO to pretty much anything he gets so upset, but if you give him other options like say (instead of having a big expensive toy lets get one of these smaller toys) and then he will cooperate quite well, and if he gets upset and out of sorts if we redirect him towards something different it helps so much, like if he is having a bit of a meltdown, I can say "Caleb come help momma, wanna be my plate helper" and he will come help me lay out the dinner plates and the meltdown is forgotten.
I feel like he has changed allot just in the last month, he seems a bit more patient, He can be so grown up and sweet, he loves playing chase with his brother, and he has his own tv and can find cartoon channels, he amazes me daily and I know he always will I love him so much